Wow, I haven’t wrote anything this year!
I actually see that as a very good thing because I was using this page to make sense of my thoughts and feelings and writing has helped. At this time I am in a far better place than I have been in a long time which is fantastic, but it has been a tough interim period. Here is an update.
Literally days after my last post in November I lost my Gran. Not to Covid directly but yes because of Covid. Since lockdown commenced she never left her house. She self isolated on her own. As a result no one could come round and see her and equally she couldn’t get out to see a doctor or medical professional. She took a fall at the end of October which hospitalised her and she then spent a short month in hospital before passing, no one by her side due to restrictions. I didn’t live locally unfortunately. I was upset and more angry as I felt I’d been cheated out of an opportunity to see her again due to the pandemic. I couldn’t get to the funeral either as it was just before Christmas and lockdown was coming in hard again. It hurt and it was unexpected.
My wife and I were also under no illusions that New Year was also going to be hard as my father in law had a terminal illness. I wasn’t sure he was making Christmas. As it was he did and given the circumstances and how 2020 had played out Christmas was truly lovely. We made the most of this and will always look back fondly at those memories.
But then come February 2021 my Father in law succumb to his illness and passed as well. My wife devastated and again another hard period for all those close to him. Whilst it was expected it doesn’t make it easier because lockdown had prevented being close to him.
Throw into this a cross country house move in the March was a real challenge mixed in with everything. At every point in the process we had met obstacles that didn’t make what you would think should be easy, a great stress. We bent over backwards to make it work as well taking a huge risk by breaking the chain and going homeless, just so it could happen and thank goodness the gamble paid off. But some sleepless nights for sure.
Fast forward a few months and we are well on the up. I took a mental health first aid course in May. Covid had delayed my attendance here but it was totally worth the wait. What I found most interesting is how useful I found it for me. I have talked a lot about my mental health challenges, I had been to see counsellors as well. This course had I not already seen someone would have resulted in me checking in to see someone as I definitely needed it. What the course has done for now is help me to better understand myself and built in some further mental resilience as well as help me appreciate the challenges that other people could be feeling. I was quite naive to many things and actually mental health is so important and the stereotypes/stigmas that surround it need to change because people go through assorted tougher times and better times in their mind.
This leads me to “The Wellbeing Gamer”. It got me wondering is there more that I can do in perhaps aiding people. What I’ve realised over the years is people in the main really do not care for my opinion. They don’t. There’s a few close family and friends who value my opinion, the rest do not. This was evidently highlighted at the start of lockdown and the pandemic with everyone’s different views and there was nothing I could do or so, particularly on social media, that seemed to matter at all to the many. But then why should it? People have preconceived idea’s of me from my past as I unfortunately do of others as well. I don’t appreciate the negativity that many others reel off and especially when it is constant, for me this is not healthy. So what I have chosen to make is a social media account called “The Wellbeing Gamer” purely designed to share positive messages around health and wellbeing through gaming.
THE WELLBEING GAMER
Gaming as an activity for positive mental health and wellbeing.
I love games, I love the competition, the focus needed to develop strategy and tactics, the patience and ultimately winning (whilst being gracious in defeat).
This page is inclusive of all games from card, physical, board, puzzle, computer, party, social and any other style you can think of. If it makes you feel good, relieves stress and improves your health then it’s likely to be a good thing.
There is always constant stories of hostilities online and in life. The stories coming out of the Euro final towards the England players that missed their penalties at the end were disgusting and there is no place in society for people to do that to someone else and treat people like that. I was appalled by it. So I want to share positive messages that help people feel good and aid in changing that narrative.
In this process of constantly being positive I hope to create a positive mindset for myself where I build in resilience to approach everything I do in a positive manor to achieve the best outcome. I feel I am on that path and this can add to it.
I will never forget those that I have lost or the experiences of the last year or so. It doesn’t work that way I feel and I would never want to forget those people and experiences of my past. But what I can control is how I move forward the actions I choose to take and what I want to create that positive attitude and energy to drive myself forwards and help those around me by being positive. There is a time and place for grieving and being sad from what has been lost but I don’t want that to define who I am and what I am about, because it’s not.
It’s exciting to be trying this, I’m intrigued to see where it can go. Currently I’ve set up on Youtube and Instagram. It will spread further for sure. Come and check me out and see what’s happening.